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The greatest love of all

The Greatest Love of All

Why the Relationship with Yourself is the Most Important

Only until you can truly love yourself can you truly love others. I mentioned last week that I have recently had work done in my house. I finally built my upstairs sanctuary. It is a project I have been dreaming about for years and now I finally get to live inside my dream. It is an amazing feeling. I bring up this remodeling project because I was reminded of something very important during the build. You see, even though I was constructing something upstairs in my attic space, what determined what we could and couldn’t do upstairs was how well the foundation had been built downstairs.

To me, this is so incredibly symbolic of how we build the relationships in our lives. Unless the relationship you have with yourself is strong, your other relationships may crumble.

The reality is, how you treat yourself is how you will treat others. Looking at it this way, the most selfless thing you can do is be self-centered. Which, by the way, has NOTHING to do with being selfish!

 

To love one’s self is the beginning
of a lifelong romance.

OSCAR WILDE


What Does Self-Love Really Mean?

If you were to do a search for self-love, chances are Google would return a bunch of articles that include self-care tips. While many of the suggestions, such as taking a hot bath, getting a massage, or relaxing with your favorite tea and music mean well, self-love goes far beyond pampering yourself every once in a while.

So then what is self-love really about?

Loving yourself is about showing yourself true kindness, respect and compassion. Imagine how you would treat a small child in need or a stray dog who came to you for help. Most people would instantly melt and treat these beings with great care, love and gentleness.

But how do you treat yourself when you are in need?

Do you chastise yourself for even having needs? Do you constantly put everyone else’s needs first and neglect your own? If your friend was going through your situation, would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself? Would you dismiss their problems like you’re dismissing your own?

How do you talk to yourself on a daily basis?

Do you give yourself praise for your accomplishments? Or do you only pay attention to your mistakes and shortcomings?

Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and, on most occasions (if not all), finding that you just don’t measure up?

At the end of the day, self-love is about loving ALL of you, even the darkest, ugliest parts that only YOU know exist. It’s not about thinking you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread; it’s recognizing that you aren’t and being 100% okay with that.


Why is Self-Love the Most Important Love There Is?

Simply put, how you view yourself is how you view your external world. People who think poorly of themselves often judge others harshly.

Also, we are responsible for teaching others how we should be treated. If you want to surround yourself with people who treat you with kindness, compassion and respect, then you’ll need to know you are worthy of kindness, compassion and respect.

Steps to Building a Loving Relationship with Yourself

As we approach Valentine’s Day and take the time to celebrate the love we feel for others, I invite you to begin the journey toward loving yourself more. Here are some ways you can get started:

1. Get to Know Yourself

Most of us, from the time we are teenagers, become almost solely focused on the world outside of ourselves. All we know and care about is what others think of us. What do our parents, friends, and teachers think?

Do you really know who you are on a deep, spiritual level? If you did, you would only radiate love toward yourself, because you would KNOW you ARE love.

If you’ve read my blog for any time you know I am a huge believer in meditation. When we meditate, we are able to drown out the noise of the outside world so we can hear our inside world.

I encourage you to start a meditation practice so you can begin to truly know who you REALLY are! You won’t be able to do anything BUT fall in love with yourself!

2. Set Better Boundaries

Boundaries are healthy. They keep us from becoming enmeshed with toxic people who will suck the life and soul out of us! When we don’t love ourselves, we tend to be doormats for everyone and get stepped on continuously.

Try and be better with setting boundaries. What are your limits? What’s okay with you and not okay with you? How do you want to be spoken to? How do you want to be treated?

It may take some getting used to if you are someone that has never put an emphasis on boundary setting. But practice doing it more and more and setting healthy boundaries will become second nature.

3. Take Better Care of Yourself

If you are a parent, you most likely do everything in your power to ensure your child or children are always safe. You make sure they eat right and get enough sleep each night.

But how do you care for yourself? Do you burn the candle at both ends? Do you eat garbage at most meals? Do you exercise at all? Do you smoke? Do you drink?

You can’t try and love yourself while treating yourself like sh*t. It’s never going to work. To truly love yourself means treating yourself as you would a precious child, doing your best to never let any harm come your way. That means harm from others and self-harm.

Starting the journey toward loving yourself is the most important thing you can do in your life. And I really don’t say that lightly. You may, at times, feel uncomfortable. After all, if you’re like most people you’ve spent your entire life NOT loving yourself.

Just be patient with the process and yourself. We are all a work in progress. Take baby steps on your journey to better self-love and self-care and remember there is an 80/20 rule. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be 100% perfect at everything.

I am so excited for you to build the greatest relationship you can ever possibly have with YOU.

Love you,

Prue

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11 hours ago

Prudence Sinclair

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

It’s the holidays and everyone seems to be in such good moods, and you hate to spoil the fun with your darkness. You don’t want to feel dark; you want to feel like everyone else seems to.

Denying feelings is an impulse for many (if not most) people. But it’s not healthy and it will truly only make things worse. When we don’t process our feelings, they tend to linger.
...

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

It’s the holidays and everyone seems to be in such good moods, and you hate to spoil the fun with your darkness. You don’t want to feel dark; you want to feel like everyone else seems to.

Denying feelings is an impulse for many (if not most) people. But it’s not healthy and it will truly only make things worse. When we don’t process our feelings, they tend to linger.

Whether you are dealing with your own health crisis, have a loved one who is, or have recently lost someone you love, coping with grief during the holidays can make you feel like you are in a nightmarish funhouse. Everything seems to move in slow motion, people have plastered smiles on their faces, holiday music seems to play from every corner of the Universe, and all you feel like doing is crying.

You are not alone during this time. Sadly, there are many people who are facing loneliness, grief and depression during the holidays.
While there is no magic wand or silver bullet that will make the pain go away, there are some things I have found that make coping a little bit easier:

- Don’t Deny Your Feelings
- Say “NO” When You Need To
- Identify Those Things You CAN Control
- Ask for Help
- Help Others
...

Whether you are dealing with your own health crisis, have a loved one who is, or have recently lost someone you love, coping with grief during the holidays can make you feel like you are in a nightmarish funhouse. Everything seems to move in slow motion, people have plastered smiles on their faces, holiday music seems to play from every corner of the Universe, and all you feel like doing is crying.

You are not alone during this time. Sadly, there are many people who are facing loneliness, grief and depression during the holidays. 
While there is no magic wand or silver bullet that will make the pain go away, there are some things I have found that make coping a little bit easier:

- Don’t Deny Your Feelings 
- Say “NO” When You Need To 
- Identify Those Things You CAN Control 
- Ask for Help 
- Help Others

2 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Good morning, lovely you!

I cannot believe we are almost to the end of October! Before you know it, we’ll be stuffing our faces with stuffing and pie! And while many of us will be lucky enough to enjoy the holiday season with our friends and family, many people will be dealing with grief and sadness at the same time.

It's important to remember that each person has their own journey, and those paths don't always make time for holidays. Whether it's cancer, a breakup, or just a bad situation, we should all try to spread hope and love and life wherever we go.
...

Good morning, lovely you!

I cannot believe we are almost to the end of October! Before you know it, we’ll be stuffing our faces with stuffing and pie! And while many of us will be lucky enough to enjoy the holiday season with our friends and family, many people will be dealing with grief and sadness at the same time.

Its important to remember that each person has their own journey, and those paths dont always make time for holidays. Whether its cancer, a breakup, or just a bad situation, we should all try to spread hope and love and life wherever we go.

3 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Deal with Your Stress

We can’t talk about boosting your immune system without talking about stress. Because the truth is, chronic stress is the number 1 enemy of your immune system.

I’ve discussed the “fight or flight” response our body has to stress in other blog posts. But to quickly summarize, when we find ourselves in harms’ way, our body has a chemical reaction that helps us either fight the danger or flee from the danger. This automatic response is what helped our ancestors survive attacks by sabre-tooth tigers and such.

But now we don’t have the same kinds of dangers in our environment. We have mortgage payments, tyrannical bosses, COVID-19, working from home stress and 24/7 media hype! These stressors stay in our environment, which leads to a lengthened chemical response in our body, and that leads to chronic inflammation.

But a prolonged response to stress also suppresses the very immune cells that are needed to fight off infection and illness.

I CANNOT STRESS how important it is to deal with the stress in your life in healthy ways. Meditation is a powerful way to deal with stress. Deep breathing exercises, physical exercise, and spending time in nature are also great ways to deal with stress. And if you find you need to speak to a mental health counselor, do it. Your health is on the line.

If you’re one of my readers that always says, “I know, I know, I should be better about supporting my immune system,” then consider me right now giving you a friendly kick in the pants to just DO IT already!

Much love and health to you!
...

Deal with Your Stress

We can’t talk about boosting your immune system without talking about stress. Because the truth is, chronic stress is the number 1 enemy of your immune system.

I’ve discussed the “fight or flight” response our body has to stress in other blog posts. But to quickly summarize, when we find ourselves in harms’ way, our body has a chemical reaction that helps us either fight the danger or flee from the danger. This automatic response is what helped our ancestors survive attacks by sabre-tooth tigers and such.

But now we don’t have the same kinds of dangers in our environment. We have mortgage payments, tyrannical bosses, COVID-19, working from home stress and 24/7 media hype! These stressors stay in our environment, which leads to a lengthened chemical response in our body, and that leads to chronic inflammation.

But a prolonged response to stress also suppresses the very immune cells that are needed to fight off infection and illness.

I CANNOT STRESS how important it is to deal with the stress in your life in healthy ways. Meditation is a powerful way to deal with stress. Deep breathing exercises, physical exercise, and spending time in nature are also great ways to deal with stress. And if you find you need to speak to a mental health counselor, do it. Your health is on the line.

If you’re one of my readers that always says, “I know, I know, I should be better about supporting my immune system,” then consider me right now giving you a friendly kick in the pants to just DO IT already!

Much love and health to you!

4 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Polyphenols

Decades of research have now confirmed that polyphenols, powerful plant compounds, have very positive effects on the immune system. Without getting too science-y, the body’s mucosal layer is its first line of defense against invading pathogens. But this layer, over time, can become susceptible to structural abnormalities, which negatively impacts the immune system’s initial response. Polyphenols protect this mucosal layer, thereby helping your immune system to do its job!

To get more polyphenols into your diet, be sure to add berries, dark chocolate, beans, nuts, red onions, spinach, black and green tea and red wine to your diet!
...

Polyphenols

Decades of research have now confirmed that polyphenols, powerful plant compounds, have very positive effects on the immune system. Without getting too science-y, the body’s mucosal layer is its first line of defense against invading pathogens. But this layer, over time, can become susceptible to structural abnormalities, which negatively impacts the immune system’s initial response. Polyphenols protect this mucosal layer, thereby helping your immune system to do its job!

To get more polyphenols into your diet, be sure to add berries, dark chocolate, beans, nuts, red onions, spinach, black and green tea and red wine to your diet!
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