Mother told me I wasn’t good enough so I never felt good enough.
When was the last time you sat still and recognized your accomplishments? I’m not talking about physical things like the amount of money you make or the big house you live in with the fancy car in the driveway. I’m talking about the expansion of your soul and the life lessons you’ve learned. If the evolution of our soul is a fact of life, we will want to keep evolving and becoming more aware so we can live a more harmonious and rewarding life.
- When did you last notice the self-improvements you’ve made in your life?
- When did you last reward yourself for accomplishing life lessons you never thought possible?
As you know, my days are spent counseling and supporting our lovely cancer peeps here at Prue’s Place. This week I noticed a common thread with everyone and it was about not feeling good enough – lack of self-worth and self-esteem. I can’t express enough just how much your emotions affect your health. This is the primary reason why we get sick in the first place and when we find the root cause of our illness we can heal our life.
What steps are you taking to heal your emotional health?
Why do we not feel good enough?
I grew up in New Zealand, an only child, shy with low self-esteem. I never felt good enough. My mother was an actress, entertainer and Opera singer. I grew up in her dressing room and there was a big star on the door. My mother was extremely critical, narcissistic and at times way over the top. My mother would do loving things that showed me she cared and the next minute she’d berate me in public or in later years she’d tell me that I’d wasted my life and should have become an Opera singer like her. One in the family was enough thanks!
Here’s a story that her best friend told me. We will call him Daniel to protect his privacy. Daniel invited my mother to accompany him to the Sound of Music performance in Auckland, NZ, to see the world famous Broadway star Mary Martin (Larry Hagman’s mother – JR Ewing from Dallas!) who had flown out from America to New Zealand to play the lead role of Maria. Valerie (my mother) played Maria a few years before and Daniel was her leading man – Captain Von Trapp! Of course, they both knew the show inside and out. Part way through the performance my mother used her elbow and hit Daniel several times quite hard on his arm saying, “That’s not how it’s done! That’s not how it’s done! That’s not how it’s done!
My goodness, if Mary Martin wasn’t good enough who the heck was!!
Your emotional health matters
When doctors told me I had stage 4 cancer and to get my affairs in order at the ripe old age of 25, my life went into a tailspin. I knew deep down inside that I had to make some serious changes to save my life. I learned how to forgive and the power of my thoughts and beliefs. I learned how to surrender and let go. It didn’t happen overnight, my lovely friends. It took quite a few years!!
Three years ago, my mother, Valerie died suddenly in her sleep. Dying in her sleep was the perfect way for her to transition and it happened to be on Easter Sunday! Getting older and losing her beauty frightened Valerie. “What else do I have,” she would say. Sadly, as talented as she was she suffered from low self-esteem.
Two days before Mum died I got a very strange phone. “Hi, darling, she said, if I just pop off it will all be OK. I’ve had a wonderful life, and I’m ready to go.” Over the last year or so I had noticed similar statements from her but this time it seemed more definitive. My mother planned her death like she planned her life – always in control and ready for the next performance and this time Easter Sunday was her final curtain call.
The long plane ride home
On the long plane ride home Boston to Auckland, New Zealand, I wrote Valerie’s eulogy with tears flowing. I acknowledged how far I had come since that shy, fearful, never good enough little girl. I had forgiven my mother and learned to love her for who she was especially over the last 15 years. What powerful gifts and life lessons she gave me. I realized I had learned what I was here to learn from being her daughter. I had no regrets.
Let’s try to accept our mothers for who they are and the valuable life lessons we’ve learned and still learning from them. We need to remember that her mother taught her and her mother taught her mother so this is why, we can’t keep blaming our mothers or fathers for their behavior because they inherited their psychological and emotions from generations before them.
We now have scientific poof that psychological and emotional results of traumatic events that a parent (or previous generations) experienced can be passed on to their offspring. This is called genomic imprinting. Here’s an amazing article – a must read.
Let’s just stop here for a moment and do a mini mediation. Read the meditation first and then close your eyes – breathe in for 5 counts – hold for 5 counts – breathe out for 5 counts – repeat. See your mother standing in front of you as a little girl. Reach down and pick her up, hold her in your arms and hug her tight. Tell her how much you love her and thank her for every life lesson she has given you. Wish her a very “Happy Mother’s Day.” Now open your eyes with a big big smile.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers here today.
May your day be blessed with love and joy.
When you face your next life challenge always remember it has come into your life to teach you something. Ask yourself, what can I learn from this situation instead of saying, “Why me?” Challenges are wake up calls – messages telling you to start becoming aware of what you need to do to grow and awaken to your full potential and how to enter a higher vibrational energy plane.
Do we choose our parents?
Yes, I believe we choose our parents and the place we were born so we can learn the life lessons we need to evolve our soul. If your road hasn’t been easy acknowledge it and move on with love and gratitude in your heart and with the tools to keep expanding your soul.
Isn’t this why we are here?
Think for a moment about how many lives you have touched, the goals and dreams you have accomplished and the wisdom you’ve gained. It’s time to congratulate yourself and notice how you feel. Do you feel worthy?
All it takes is recognizing your worth and acknowledging your growth. Try to set time every day to be thankful and grateful for your life and the changes you are making to heal your mind, body and soul.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
With love, gratitude and high vibrational energy coming your way.
See you over Prue’s Place.
Tip of the day: Let go of the friends that drive you crazy, you know the ones that always, blame, complain and bring you down. You can always make new friends, friends who uplift you, support, encourage you and bring joy.