We have been talking a lot about cancer self-help and detoxing lately, with a focus on detoxing your body. But for true healing, you MUST detox ALL aspects of your life. So today I want to talk about detoxing your relationships. OH yes, let’s dive in!
How Toxic Relationships Harm Us
Not many of us will get off this ride called life without finding ourselves involved in one or more toxic relationships. These relationships can be with family, friends, coworkers and romantic partners.
The toxicity comes from the emotional and psychological turmoil that results from lies and trust issues, narcissism, verbal and physical abuse, and any other form of tension and disrespect.
Unless dealt with, toxicity in relationships typically leads to anger, frustration, resentment, low self-esteem, jealousy, depression, anxiety and a whole host of other negative emotions. And what is the real result of feeling these chronic negative emotions?
There is an absolute mind/body connection. Our physical bodies react to our emotions. This means a long-term toxic relationship can lead to a hormonal imbalance, stress on the heart, high blood pressure, GI upsets, and poor immune function.
Of course, this stress is also responsible for the development of serious diseases like cancer. Even the CDC now reports that human emotions are greatly responsible for the development of disease. The idea that a toxic relationship can lead to ill health is no longer a woo-woo concept.
Now you may be wondering if you are, in fact, in a toxic relationship. Is it time to end things? Let’s take a look at some of the signs that point to a toxic relationship.
How Are You Being Treated?
How does the person in question act in the world? Are they kind to others or are they aggressive and snobbish? Do they tell lies easily or gossip? Do other people seem to feel good and supported around them, or bad and judged?
Sometimes, when we are too close to a situation, we need to step back and look at it from a different angle. If you have a hard time recognizing the fact that you may be in a toxic relation, look at the relationships your friend, lover, sister, coworker has with others.
How Does the Other Person Deal with Conflict?
No one likes conflict. That’s what we are told. But those of us who have been in toxic relationships know that some people LOVE conflict, whether they are aware of it or not. While many of us try to communicate respectfully with others so that we can find common ground and answers, there are those that WILL NOT BUDGE. They are never wrong, according to them, and will not only never apologize, but will claim to be the REAL victim. They yell, become WAY too angry, and intentionally say hurtful things to lash out.
A person who truly cares for your well-being will treat you with kindness and respect, even in times of upheaval and confusion.
How Do You Feel When You’re Together?
Our friends, family and lovers are supposed to make us feel good. Sure, they can get on our nerves once in a while, we’re all human and none of us are perfect. But for the most part, we should feel loved and supported around our tribe.
Does this person make you feel good or bad? Are you comfortable or anxious around them? Do they give you and your needs attention or is it ALL about them?
Cancer Self-Help: How to End and Heal from Toxic Relationships
It’s not easy to recognize that you are in a toxic relationship. But your health and well-being insist that you are truthful with yourself. If the conclusion you come to is “Yes” then here are some steps to take.
1. Be Honest
Be honest with the other person and share your feelings. Do NOT feel that you need to engage them anymore than you have the energy for. There is no need to get into a needless argument. Simply speak your truth and end the relationship.
And this goes for lovers, friend OR family members. Your family can make you sick, unfortunately. You have the right to end things.
2. Commit to Your Wellbeing
People tend to end a relationship, only to allow that relationship to spring back to “life” later on. If you have determined that the relationship is bad for your health, then it is your DUTY to commit to your well-being and keep things ended.
3. Give Yourself Time
If this was an old relationship, you are going to feel a loss, even though it was toxic. That is just the reality of things. Allow yourself some time to mourn the loss and feel those feelings.
4. Expect Goodness
You’ve gotten rid of bad to make way for good. So expect good to show up in your life in the form of people that will love, honor and support your well-being.
Human beings are social creatures. We require relationships and social connections to feel whole and happy. But this DOES NOT mean we need to settle for something that is making us ill.
Give yourself a great present by ending your toxic relationships today.
Sending love, light and a shiny pair of scissors to cut the toxic cord.