Forming the HABIT of Self-Love
As February, the month of LOVE comes to a close, I wanted to end with a post that will help you get into the HABIT of Self-love. If you’ve ever tried to do something that was good or healthy for you, you know that unless you turn that “thing” into a habit, you won’t stick to the practice. Well self-love, like meditation, is a practice. You must keep working at it and working at it until it becomes natural for you to do it.
This will require you to turn self-love into a habit.
Most of us, when we were 5, couldn’t imagine that someday brushing our teeth and taking a bath or shower would become a daily habit. No one would have to force us to do it we would just do it because it became a habit.
For those of you who have committed to becoming healthier through eating right and exercising X days a week, think about how hard it was in the beginning to eat certain foods or to get to the gym before or after work.
But you committed to the practice of being healthier and before long, what was tough became a habit, and habits, by nature, are easy. Because they’re HABITS!
So right now, I know many of you are living painful lives. They are painful because you really and truly don’t love yourself. You don’t feel you are worthy of love. I hope that last week’s post on recognizing the truth, that you have been lied to by the Goliaths in your life and that the one true creator loves you infinitely and eternally has got you thinking.
But I also know that for many of you, going from not loving yourself to practicing self-love every day will be challenging, to say the least. And that’s why I want to help get you started on forming this new habit of self-love.
Here are some things you can do each day to get you into the habit of self-love.
Be More Mindful of YOU
You’ve heard me talk about being mindful in the moment of the moment, but now I also want you to become more mindful of yourself in the moment. People who love themselves acknowledge themselves. They know what they want, feel and need throughout their day.
Base Your Decisions on What You Need Rather Than What You Want
A mother doesn’t let her child have every single thing he wants because she loves him. She doesn’t let him have cake for each meal. She doesn’t let him stay up late every single night. Doesn’t let him drink whiskey or smoke cigarettes.
In the moments when you become aware of your wants and needs, give yourself something you need instead of want. You NEED good health, so go to the gym instead of sleeping in. You need to get the inflammation down in your body so opt for the salmon and a glass of water, not the cheeseburger, fries and large coke!
Start Setting Boundaries
Love means not saying yes to people or activities that are going to deplete you of energy or harm you emotionally or spiritually. Setting boundaries is not only your right, but it is also YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. It gets easier, and even fun, when you get into the habit of setting definite boundaries with people and a habit of loving yourself.
Cut Ties with Toxic People
All of those Goliaths that may be in your life who aren’t loving or respecting you the way you should be loved and respected? They’ve got to go. Now I know cutting ties with certain people may be harder and take longer, but the steps must be taken. PLEASE HEAR ME ON THIS… You cannot love yourself when every single day the lies and programs are being reinstalled into your heart, mind and soul. You MUST break free of these toxic people who will only pull you down and convince you all over again that you aren’t worth a damn.
This was a tough one for me. We are all human and we all make mistakes. But the biggest mistake you can make is to not love yourself. So when I got to the point where I finally started loving myself, my heart ached… I couldn’t believe how horribly I had treated myself in the past and how much of myself I didn’t love or appreciate. I really felt like I had accidentally hit a puppy or something, I just felt so so so awful and I had a hard time forgiving myself for not loving myself.
Do you see the irony in that?
It’s not your fault that people may have sent you the wrong signals growing up, making you feel unworthy of love. But the past is the past, you now know the truth, and there is no use AT ALL in hating yourself all over again.
Whatever mistakes you have made, forgive yourself. Forgiveness and acceptance are the ultimate acts of love.
As we head into spring, which is a time for new life and hope, carry this momentum with you and keep creating the habit of self-love.