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October 13, 2020

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20 hours ago

Prudence Sinclair

Identify Those Things You CAN Control

There are a lot of things about the holidays that are out of your control. You will most likely hear other people cheerily talking about their holiday plans and you’ll be bombarded with Christmas music pretty much everywhere you go.

But there are some things you can control that will help you lessen your pain and grief. For instance, if you live alone and don’t feel like decorating your house or a tree this year, that’s okay, you don’t have to do it. If you want to avoid crowds and do minimal shopping online, then that’s what you need to do.

Don’t focus on what you can’t control and instead identify those things you CAN control during the holidays.
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Identify Those Things You CAN Control

There are a lot of things about the holidays that are out of your control. You will most likely hear other people cheerily talking about their holiday plans and you’ll be bombarded with Christmas music pretty much everywhere you go.

But there are some things you can control that will help you lessen your pain and grief. For instance, if you live alone and don’t feel like decorating your house or a tree this year, that’s okay, you don’t have to do it. If you want to avoid crowds and do minimal shopping online, then that’s what you need to do.

Don’t focus on what you can’t control and instead identify those things you CAN control during the holidays.

2 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Say “NO” When You Need To

There were times during my treatment when I knew I absolutely could not be around anyone. I just didn’t have it in me. And then there were times when I thought I didn’t have it in me, but I pushed myself to be social anyway, and being around friends and loved ones made me feel better and brought me out of my funk.

You need to know what you need in the moment. If you KNOW you are in too dark of a place and you need to be alone and quiet, then say NO to those holiday parties and get togethers. But if you check in with yourself and you don’t get a resounding NO but more of a, “Mmm, I don’t know, I don’t really feel like it…” then it may be if you give yourself a little nudge, you’ll wind up having a good time that LIFTS YOUR SPIRITS!
...

Say “NO” When You Need To

There were times during my treatment when I knew I absolutely could not be around anyone. I just didn’t have it in me. And then there were times when I thought I didn’t have it in me, but I pushed myself to be social anyway, and being around friends and loved ones made me feel better and brought me out of my funk.

You need to know what you need in the moment. If you KNOW you are in too dark of a place and you need to be alone and quiet, then say NO to those holiday parties and get togethers. But if you check in with yourself and you don’t get a resounding NO but more of a, “Mmm, I don’t know, I don’t really feel like it…” then it may be if you give yourself a little nudge, you’ll wind up having a good time that LIFTS YOUR SPIRITS!

3 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

It’s the holidays and everyone seems to be in such good moods, and you hate to spoil the fun with your darkness. You don’t want to feel dark; you want to feel like everyone else seems to.

Denying feelings is an impulse for many (if not most) people. But it’s not healthy and it will truly only make things worse. When we don’t process our feelings, they tend to linger.
...

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

It’s the holidays and everyone seems to be in such good moods, and you hate to spoil the fun with your darkness. You don’t want to feel dark; you want to feel like everyone else seems to.

Denying feelings is an impulse for many (if not most) people. But it’s not healthy and it will truly only make things worse. When we don’t process our feelings, they tend to linger.

4 days ago

Prudence Sinclair

Whether you are dealing with your own health crisis, have a loved one who is, or have recently lost someone you love, coping with grief during the holidays can make you feel like you are in a nightmarish funhouse. Everything seems to move in slow motion, people have plastered smiles on their faces, holiday music seems to play from every corner of the Universe, and all you feel like doing is crying.

You are not alone during this time. Sadly, there are many people who are facing loneliness, grief and depression during the holidays.
While there is no magic wand or silver bullet that will make the pain go away, there are some things I have found that make coping a little bit easier:

- Don’t Deny Your Feelings
- Say “NO” When You Need To
- Identify Those Things You CAN Control
- Ask for Help
- Help Others
...

Whether you are dealing with your own health crisis, have a loved one who is, or have recently lost someone you love, coping with grief during the holidays can make you feel like you are in a nightmarish funhouse. Everything seems to move in slow motion, people have plastered smiles on their faces, holiday music seems to play from every corner of the Universe, and all you feel like doing is crying.

You are not alone during this time. Sadly, there are many people who are facing loneliness, grief and depression during the holidays. 
While there is no magic wand or silver bullet that will make the pain go away, there are some things I have found that make coping a little bit easier:

- Don’t Deny Your Feelings 
- Say “NO” When You Need To 
- Identify Those Things You CAN Control 
- Ask for Help 
- Help Others
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Melanoma Madness:

Melanoma Madness If you are new to my blog and don’t know my history, I was given only 6 months to live 30 years ago with stage 4 nodular malignant melanoma. Melanoma, as well as my home country New Zealand, are close to my heart.

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