Can We Have it All?
If you collected all of the articles, blog posts and white papers that have been written on the topic of stress over the last few years, you’d have enough to fill a small fleet of Honda CR-Vs. There is so much information about stress that reading all of it would completely stress you out.
But is any of this information really helping people deal with the stress in their lives?
If you tell your doctor about your stress, he’ll quickly write you a prescription for some “magic” pills and send you on your way. You take the pills religiously and continue on with life as normal. In the end, you’re still stressed out but too sleepy or numb to do much about it.
And here’s the really scary part: Much of this stress happens despite (or really BECAUSE) we strive to create the perfect life. The one we have been told we should have by Madison Avenue and the elite media. The one that promises to keep us up with the Joneses. The one that allows us to ‘have it all.’
What the HELL is Going On?
I want to share with you a couple of stories of two wonderful women. Both are happily married and in their early 40’ – Gen Xers. They both have worked their way up the ladder into prominent positions within their company.
One is Managing Director in broadcasting, the other a well-known Ph.D.
Both have wonderful children and husbands who work, but without these women’s salaries, they could not follow the Golden playbook and send their children to top colleges or live the “comfortable” life they are living.
What else do these two women have in common?
Both have auto-immune diseases.
One has Lupus and the other Multiple Sclerosis. As if that’s not enough, both have high blood pressure, chronic pain, and migraines.
Why I ask, are these caring, talented, loving mothers and wives so sick at such a young age? These diseases are for people twice their age!
Why are so many Gen X women developing chronic disease? Sadly, millennials are going down the same path. I mentored a young woman in her 20’s who had cataracts.
What the Hell is Going On?
Stress is Going On
Stress creates a sequence of events that starts off slowly. You first stop making time for you. Big mistake. You stop exercising, stop walking the dog, depression and anxiety creep in because you are in denial, you keep on pushing harder and harder to prove to yourself you can have it all.
Emotional eating sets in – comfort food, alcohol consumption increases – your emotions get out of whack; arguments start at work and with loved ones. Your thoughts turn dark, and you start to lose your self-worth.
All of a sudden something happens, and you are in a doctor’s office waiting for test results.
But that something that suddenly happened didn’t happen suddenly. It took quite some time for you to become sick.
Chronic disease is a wake-up call of the highest magnitude. Your body tried to get your attention gently. You started having more headaches. Then your joints felt a bit stiff and achy. But you didn’t listen because you were too busy trying to have it all. So then your body got more aggressive with its signals… your heart started racing, you got a weird rash, you started having dizzy spells.
But you still didn’t listen.
So then your body pulled out all the stops and sent you pain so great, you couldn’t get out of bed for a week and could barely make it in to your doctor’s appointment where the test results confirmed the devastating news: you have a disease.
Is it Worth It?
We were told we could have it all. The great husband, 2 – 3 kids, best education for our children – top colleges – the perfect house in the best neighborhoods – executive positions in Corporate America and Corporations around the world – and no glass ceiling.
But, can you really have it all?
No, you can’t have it all if you don’t have your health. Your health is everything – without your health you have nothing.
The loving husband – wonderful kids who attend the best schools and colleges – the perfect job – the best house on the street. Without optimum health you lose it all.
Is that what you want after building your dream life?
What can you do about it?
First, you can redefine what “having it all” means to you.
I knew what it meant to me. It meant allowing every destructive impulse and behavior to shape my daily life. It meant living a life of bad excess – too much sugar – too much coffee – too much alcohol – too many cigarettes.
Then I was diagnosed with cancer and told I was going to die in a few months.
Well, that shifted my priorities real quick!
But you don’t have to be told you have a disease to shift your priorities. You can instead shift your priorities to avoid being told you have a disease.
So, first thing – redefine having it all. Get in touch with your soul and feel what it is you really need in life to be happy and content.
Release old emotional baggage because, let me tell you, disease is created by the negative emotions we stuff down and down and down so we don’t have to feel them. And who has time to feel painful emotions when they’re working 60-hour work weeks, raising perfect children and keeping their body in shape so their husband still finds them attractive?
I never dealt with the sudden and devastating loss of my beloved father. Instead, I soothed myself with that life of destructive excess I just mentioned. I believe with my entire being that ignoring my pain and suffering was the key to developing an aggressive form of cancer.
I’m not alone with this theory. The CDC has stated that there is a direct link between our mental and emotional well-being and the development of chronic disease.
3 proven powerful methods of releasing stress and festering emotions.
- Download my Freebies here – breathing technique to get you started.
- Daily Walk & Talk – Do you like to walk or run? Here’s a perfect daily ritual you can do walking your dog, running on the treadmill or meandering along a country road, beach or nature trail.
I created the Daily Walk & Talk™ from a ritual I did with my dog to de-stress my life and save my life from stage 4 cancer 3 decades ago. Get a sneak peek here.
3. Question & Affirm – Affirmations don’t work!
I don’t believe affirmations work for most of us. For example: When I say to myself, “I can heal and save my life,” my crazy mind says, (Buddha calls it the “drunken monkey mind) “Oh, no you can’t” or “Yeah, right!”
When we have to force something, we don’t get the results we are looking for, and then it becomes too hard and we quit. I’m sure you can relate!
This is why I’ve created my new amazing product
Question & Affirm™.
When you ask a question of yourself you start looking for possibilities–you stop fighting with your subconscious mind. Your body is your subconscious mind!
Add Question & Affirm™ to your daily ritual and watch amazing changes take place in your life. Things that were heavy and weighed you down will become lighter and easier.
Test your stress levels with this quiz and get more info about Question & Affirm™
McLeod, S. A. (2010). SRRS – Stress of Life Events. Retrieved from www.simplypsychology.org/SRRS.html
When a stressful situation arises in your life, stop what you are doing, sit, breathe and pay attention to what is going on. You will either want to fight or run at this moment in time. Be mindful of what you are thinking and ask these questions?
Why is this stressful situation in my life?
What is it all about?
What can I learn from this?
Start the Question & Affirm™ exercises and observe what happens.
The mind is the brain in action!
As Dr. Joe says “start observing instead of participating.”
With love & gratitude,
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